dude i'm inner monologue high
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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