I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
sex in a hospital.. check
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.