I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
