I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?