the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
