Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
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picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
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It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.