i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
