Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
