Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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