R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
