i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
