I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Randomize