ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
