So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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