my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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