i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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