You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
