they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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