Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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