This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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