I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
