I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
