What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
