Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
