i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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