yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
