So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My penis needs a shock collar
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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