'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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