so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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