wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
