so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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