saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
A+ Viking dick
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