found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
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