pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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