I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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