i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
