You just made me feel so damn special
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Randomize
