turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize