Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(856): View more from New Jersey

in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...

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(314): View more from Missouri

I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".

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(765): View more from Indiana

It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(701): View more from North Dakota

That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.

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(613): View more from Ontario

Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.

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(239): View more from Florida

You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species

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