Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
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Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
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On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.