Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
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