Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
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i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
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also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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