wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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