He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
