Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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