Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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