White coat. Heels.
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
