Umm I'm too high to move.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
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If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
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You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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