You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
