Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
