Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
i need some magic done to my vagina
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
where are my eyebrows?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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