Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
