Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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