Moan for me like Helen Keller
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
