hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
