In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize