hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
