That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
