do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize