I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
