If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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