chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
