So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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