Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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