At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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