i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
How's work?
Spinning.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
