Swine flu. Run for my life!
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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